Saturday, September 22, 2007

Happiness Follows . . .

Happiness Follows . . .

Once there was an old alley cat walking down the street looking for his supper. As he walked along he came upon a beautiful young cat who was running around in circles chasing her tail. Around and around she went trying as hard as she could to catch her tail.

The old alley cat stopped and asked her, "What are you doing?"

The young cat slowed down and replied that she had been taught that joy, happiness, success and luck were all in the tip of her tail.

"All that I have to do is catch the end of my tail, and I will have the happy life, she said.

The old alley cat replied, "I've been around for a long time, and I know that joy, happiness, success and luck are in the tip of my tail; but, you know if I don't chase it and work my very hardest and don't worry about it, the happy life follows me wherever I go. My tail follows me everywhere, so I don't need to chase it."

Happiness isn't a place, a time, or a possession. You have to make it happen. The ways to make it happen is to stop worrying about everything and just go about your business, and do your very best. Then, if you really work hard, your happiness will follow you just like the alley cat's tail . . .

Saturday, September 08, 2007

A Bad Day

A little guy is sitting at the bar just staring at his drink for half an
hour when this big trouble-making biker steps next to him, grabs
his drink and gulps it down in one swig.

The poor little guy starts crying.

'Come on man. I was just giving you a hard time,' the biker says. 'I
didn't think you'd cry'. 'I can't stand to see a man crying'.

'This is the worst day of my life', says the little guy between sobs.
'I can't do anything right. I overslept and was late to an important
meeting, so my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found
my car was stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the
cab I took home. I found my wife in bed with the gardener, and then my
dog bit me. So I came to this bar trying to work up the courage to put
an end to my life, and then you show up and drink my damn poison'.

Different Hells~Geman, American & Indian

A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different
for each country.He goes to the German hell and asks, "What do they do
He was told that,"First they put you in an electric chair for an hour.
they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil
in and
beats you for the rest of the day."

The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. He
out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more.
He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German

Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a long line of

people waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?"
He was told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then

they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil
and beats you for the rest of the day."

"But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so

many people waiting to get in?"

"Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work,
someone has stolen all the nails from the bed, and the devil is a
Govt servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to the

Why Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't

Why Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't
for the answer...

In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney

called his first witness to the stand.

The witness was a grand motherly, elderly woman. He approached her and
asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"She responded, "Why, yes I do know
Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly,

been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you
manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think
you're a

big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount
anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The Lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defence attorney?"

She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was
youngster, too.He's lazy, bigoted and he has a drinking problem. He
build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of
worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with
different women, one of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."
The defence attorney almost died.The judge asked both counsellors to
the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you bastards
her, if she knows me, I'll throw you in jail for contempt."

Friday, September 07, 2007


Smiling is infectious,
you catch it like the flu,

When someone smiled at me today,
I started smiling too.

I passed around the corner,
and someone saw my grin -

When he smiled I realized,
I'd passed it on to him.

I thought about that smile,
then I realized its worth,

A single smile,
just like mine,
could travel round the earth.

So, if you feel a smile begin,
don't leave it undetected -

Let's start an epidemic quick
and get the world infected!

...Author Unknown

Monday, September 03, 2007

Labor Day

20 inches of snow



Give up the world; give up self; finally, give up God.
Find god in rhododendrons and rocks,
passers-by, your cat.
Pare your beliefs, your absolutes.
Make it simple; make it clean.
No carry-on luggage allowed.
Examine all you have
with a loving and critical eye, then
throw away some more.
Repeat. Repeat.
Keep this and only this:
what your heart beats loudly for
what feels heavy and full in your gut.
There will only be one or two
things you will keep,
and they will fit lightly
in your pocket.

~ Sheri Hostetler ~

(A Cappella: Mennonite Voices in Poetry)

Sunday, September 02, 2007

How to stay together

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They
had shared everything, talked about everything and had kept no
secrets from each other ... except that the little old woman had a
shoebox in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband

To open or ask her about.. Through all of these years, he had never
thought about the box
but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said
she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the
little old

man took down the shoebox and took it to his wife's bedside. She
that it was time that he should know what was in the box.

When he opened it, he found 2 crocheted dolls and a stack of money
$25,000. He asked her about the contents. "When we were to be
married," she
said, "my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to
argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just
quiet and crochet a doll." The little old man was so moved; he had to
fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had
been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving.
almost burst with happiness.

" Honey," he said, "that explains the dolls ... but what about all of
this money? Where did it come from?" "Oh," she said, "that's the money
made from selling the dolls."

A Prayer.......

Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man ...
Love to forgive him ....
And Patience for his moods ....
Because Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.