Tuesday, July 07, 2009

We Had Him by Maya Angelou

Beloveds, now we know that we know nothing
Now that our bright and shining star can slip away from our fingertips like a puff of summer wind
Without notice, our dear love can escape our doting embrace
Sing our songs among the stars and and walk our dances across the face of the moon
In the instant we learn that Michael is gone we know nothing
No clocks can tell our time and no oceans can rush our tides
With the abrupt absence of our treasure
Though we our many, each of us is achingly alone
Piercingly alone
Only when we confess our confusion can we remember that he was a gift to us and we did have him
He came to us from the Creator, trailing creativity in abundance
Despite the anguish of life he was sheathed in mother love and family love and survived and did not more than that
He thrived with passion and compassion, humor and style
We had him
Whether we knew who he was or did not know, he was our's and we were his
We had him
Beautiful, delighting our eyes
He raked his hat slant over his brow and took a pose on his toes for all of us and we laughed and stomped our feet for him
We were enchanted with his passion because he held nothing
He gave us all he had been given
Today in Tokyo, beneath the Eiffel Tower, in Ghana's Blackstar Square, in Johannesburg, in Pittsburgh, in Birmingham, Alabama and Birmingham England, we are missing Michael Jackson
But we do know that we had him
And we are the world.

Monday, June 15, 2009

To those who are married, ... Not married .. and soon to be married.

Sent to me via email and I wanted to share this with others.

To those who are married, ... Not married .. and soon to be married.


When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!

That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions.. ... She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work.. I drove alone to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily.. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not young any mo re. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one... Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and sai d, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.. I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank, blah..blah.. blah. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy.. Do have a real happy marriage! If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you...

If you do, you just might save a marriage..

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Shelves for Fridge

Shelves for Fridge
Originally uploaded by Lakenvelder
The shelves that came with the refrigerator were made of plastic and just were started cracking. A check online reveiled the repalcement cost of $74.00 USD each and that is not counting shipping. So a trip to home depot and a few cuts in shelving used for pantry here we are. Not as practical since I lost the produce bins but it will do for now. Buyer Beware: DO NOT buy refrigerator with plastic shelves make sure they are using metal on the frames. I notice when looking at refrigerators they all seemed to have gone away from this.

Sunday, May 24, 2009


I am on challenge myself to read 50 books this year. So far I have been a bit behind in reading this amount since this is about 1 book per week. This week I have been able to read a number of books. You can go to my profile at librarything.com to see reviews of these books and others that I have read.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Changing your email address on you blog.

I just had a problem with an my email being used for spam and need to delete the email since there was no other way to stop them. I was not able to figure out a solution on my own and blogger was no help. I found this bog which helped me although I had to figure out a couple of steps. This might be from changes made since the blog was made over a year ago. http://bloggerbeefedup.blogspot.com/2008_01_01_archive.html I am now set up with another email address and hope it will not be taken over by the spammers again. Just be careful and do not delete your blog. I had to go and delete the whole profile since it still would not let me just delete the email.

Saturday, April 04, 2009


I got this as an email so I I looked it up. So here is what a reader came up with.

This appeared in the St. Petersburg Times Newspaper.
Business Section asked readers all week..... for ideas on "HOW WOULD YOU FIX THE ECONOMY?
This one was the best idea. I think this guy nailed it.

Dear Mr. President,
Patriotic retirement:
There's about 40 million people over 50 years old....... in the work force - pay them $1 million apiece severance with the following stipulations.
1) They leave their jobs. Forty million job openings - UNEMPLOYMENT FIXED
2) They buy NEW American cars. Forty million cars ordered - AUTO INDUSTRY FIXED.
3) They either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - HOUSING CRISIS FIXED.
Like I have been saying, they are bailing out the wrong people

St Peterburg Times, February 8, 2009.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

How to tell you have been married a long time

How to tell you have been married a long time

" Three women friends, one in a casual relationship, one engaged to be
married and one a long-time wife, met for drinks after work. The
conversation eventually drifted towards how best to spice up their sex
lives. After much discussion, they decided to surprise their men by
engaging in some S&M role playing.

The following week they met up again to compare notes.

Sipping her drink, the single girl leered and said, 'Last Friday at the
end of the work day I went to my boyfriend's office wearing a leather
coat. When all the other people had left, I slipped out of it and all I
had on was a leather bodice, black stockings and stiletto heels. He was
so aroused that we made mad passionate love on his desk right then and

The engaged woman giggled and said, 'That's pretty much my story! When
my fiance got home last Friday, he found me waiting for him in a black
mask, leather bodice, black hose and stiletto pumps. He was so turned on
that we not only made love all night, he wants to move up our wedding

The married woman put her glass down and said, 'I did a lot of planning.
I made arrangements for the kids to stay over at Grandma's. I took a
long scented-oil bath and then put on my best perfume. I slipped into a
tight leather bodice, a black garter belt, black stockings and six-inch
stilettos. I finished it off with a black mask, ready for action. When
my husband got home from work, he grabbed a beer and the remote, sat
down and yelled "Hey, Batman, what's for dinner?"